Relationship Reflection by Ms. Jay

                The top two pictures represent the top 3 relationships on my list that are important to me. Family and Marriage. The very first relationship that is important to me and I have been slacking quite a bit is building my personal relationship with my spiritual beliefs (God) because ultimately I believe I have absolutely no control over the events that will happen in the future and my future plans. I can personally make plans and goals but my plans don’t always follow through and may change. I know situations occur based on my relationship with the "one above" and he teaches me that my life is in his hands.

                The second relationship that is important to me is family. If there is one thing I have learned is that: when all the material possessions are gone, situations in life become difficult to handle, and I feel like I have nothing I remembered that having a personal relationship with those who care about me highly matters.  Some readers may not know that I have the pleasure of having several family members from two different cultures. My mom is from the Philippines and my dad is African American born and raised mostly in Tennessee.  I have an older sister and a younger brother. The positive twist within this family is that I also grew up with my father serving in the United States Air Force. Growing up as a military family has several challenges and puts a strain on family bonding.  The family relationship was shown through different ways. Like simple home movie nights, sitting together during family meals, and now that I live far from home occasional phone calls. Even though my parent’s cultures were different my parents did their best to work together raising three children.

                I would describe my relationship with my parents as “tough love.” By tough love I mean my parents did not just give me the things that I wanted just because I asked for it, or just to show their love, or just that they cared. They not only did those things considering the majority of the time I had to earn and work for the things I wanted. I had to show them that I deserved to have those things.  I know they love me and they care. I didn’t realize the situation then, but I know now that this was the only way my parents were teaching me to be independent. Occasionally I would receive certain things and advice that I didn’t ask for. Personally they knew what I desperately needed like guidance and discipline. (A must with three kids!)  I also learned that if I really needed something they would always provide and take care of us (kids). I came to a decision that my relationship with my parents and family members is important because family relationships between members is needed. Although I am the middle child my parents instill in me that I am the glue that holds my siblings relationship together.Hence I get along great with my sister and brother independently, but my brother and sister always argue and still do growing up. My relationship with my syblings as well as my parents has to stay constant. Without constant positive contact with them the relationship will fall and the group called my family is broken.

As I continue to grow and look at situations that happened in the past I know my family and the relationships that still continue to change has provided me a foundation of what it means to become a positive family within the one that I’m trying to raise. My parents and siblings have set examples for me. And I'm going to apply those experience tools to build a positive relationship within my marriage and raising my own children.

This picture was taken years ago!

The next relationship I would like to mention is marriage.

A promise made and not meant to be broken.

Marriage is special to me because it is definitely a partnership between two people especially when it comes to raising a child. Not to mention my husband was also serving within the United States Air Force. The special characteristics within this relationship are love, communication and support, despite confrontation. My husband is my "rock" and I recieve his love and support as well as I support and love him. We have gone through several difficult milestones within our marriage and continue to work together. I saw how my parents worked together,though part of my dad's duty was to travel they bonded in ways to guide my brother, sister and I.  I often look at my parents long, ongoing love and partnership as encouragement to want to build a strong relationship with my husband. I want to set positive examples just as they did for me for my children. Marriage is a partnership that can be challenging to maintain but it takes both people to keep the marriage relationship strong, healthy and continuous throughout the years.

The last relationship is the relationship between me and my daughter

My daughter is definitely a blessing. Remember my statement on making plans and that plans change? When she came into my life she definitely changed my plans for the best! Her birth symbolized a change in my attitude towards life and she made an impact in defining my personal goals. Instead of quiting school and everything to stay home to raise her (which was a difficult decision)I continued to work hard to obtain my Bachelors degree to become an early childhood educator. I use the practices of early childhood and caring for children along with raising my child. I think learning about children helps me view her thoughts and current development differently. And because I have some knowledge of child development I relate almost everything I see and do around her. She impacts my world and contributes to my work as an effective early childhood professional. She sets my tone as an early childhood professional by watching my interactions with other children within my role as a caregiver for school age children. She is developing a distinction between “mommy role” and “caregiver role” , while I’m constantly developing within my different roles from: wife, parent, student, to professional. I watch the way that she continues to grow and hope our relationship as mother and daughter builds to a healthy relationship even when it comes time to let her go out into the world.

As a person I play different roles within the world of relationships: daughter, sister, wife, mother, student and caregiver just to name a few. Each relationship is special and contributes to different sections in my life. All these relationships are essential for me to function. They represent a piece of my life puzzle. If I lost any of these relationship pieces I would not be complete.