Microagressions (By Ms. Jay)

I remember recently experiencing some unintentional forms of Microagression relating to “brief everyday psychological dilemmas associated with the class of racial realities as well as perceived minimal harm of unintentional, invisible nature of microagressions” (Laureate Education, Inc.2011).  Last Saturday July 14, 2012 I participated in a “Craft Show” A craft show is an event in which people set up tables with merchandise they make by hand and sell to customers. (I don’t make any crafts with my hands but I sell purses as an independent consultant for an at home business.) Some familiar at home businesses you may know about are (Mary Kay and Avon)

Living in North Dakota, in a small city, where the population is about 800 people. The people all around me looked white. I arrived early setting up my table /booth full of my wonderful products and as I looked around and smiled at other vendors and they didn’t smile back I began to feel uncomfortable. Not only did I get a vibe that these people were not friendly but as I looked around again, I noticed I was the only “dark” person there. (I’m part African American and part Asian) I have no problems working with diverse people (My home town Las Vegas Nevada where people from all over the world live work and learn.)

 Internally, I felt in order to make my business grow I have to “get my name out there” so to speak and sell my bags.  I proceeded to set up my booth quietly and calmly. I enjoy selling my bags to co-workers and friends because I know my relationship with them is based on my positive attitude, character and friendly nature as a person. They also relate and know me as part of the military community. I associate well with the military community and I’m very comfortable sharing information about my business with them. I stood there along with other women around me selling their products and realized how the other booths proceeded to stare at me. I realized only two women that were setting up their booths were kind and showed interested in my products.   I looked around some more and recognized a military member also a parent (her child attended our before and after school program) selling her products. I went over and talked to her and became comfortable because we related to each other as part of the military community.  I stood next to her and talked to her a majority of the time before the craft show began. 

During the show, I kindly greeted every customer approaching my booth but still felt like an outcast I watched and observe people walk by my booth without even acknowledging I was there. I also felt other vendors were greeting customers around me (getting their attention before I could even greet them and sold their products to them.) I know I was not the only purse vendor at the show and felt like we were in competition. I decided to be friendly and make the best of my day while being there and got up to walk around and see what products other vendors had. I love purses anyway and decided to try and make conversations with these two young women vendors also selling purses by asking them how long they have sold purses and how much some of them were.  I was not pleased with their service and tone with me. They talked in a mono tone voice and were very assertive in talking about their products. I felt like they wanted me to step away from their booth.

For six hours I watched people walk by my booth, and tell me they had their own purse consultant they buy from, purchase other merchandise from other vendor’s booths, then walk out.  Earlier in the day one person came up to my booth and said “Good Luck!” I kindly smiled and said “Thank you” but internally I was feeling out of place and wasn’t getting much business anyway.  Out of the entire day I only received 3 orders. I told myself it was better than no orders at all.

It’s not fun being the target of micro aggressions even though the comments and gestures were not intentionally meant to harm me or was it? Later, I called my friend and co-worker (I will call her Ms. Tammy) who is also African American and has her own independent business (6 years) selling wickless candles and told her about my first craft show. She said, “You know I’m proud of you, it’s not easy being of minority and selling products up here.” She said, “I know you probably wanted to pack up your stuff and leave but I’m proud that you stood your ground and didn’t let those people push you out.”   

Overall, with the knowledge of microagressions from this course plus reflecting back on this experience helped me learn that some people are unaware of differences within people and may not know how to react to them. (Those who seem like strangers)  My other conclusion leads me to believe people are aware of differences between other people but are “stuck” to their views until at some point in their lives; they experience a form of microagression or speak to someone who is not afraid of addressing the issue directly.

Here is a picture of my booth.

Laureate Education, Inc. (Producer). (2011). [Video web cast]: Microaggressions in Everyday Life In Perspectives on Diversity and Equity. Retrieved from https://class.waldenu.edu/webapps/portal/frameset.jsp?tab_tab_group_id=_2_1&url=%2Fwebapps%2Fblackboard%2Fexecute%2Flauncher%3Ftype%3DCourse%26id%3D_1341778_1%26url%3D

Defining culture and diversity from other perspectives (Ms. Jay)

I decided to discuss diversity and culture with three different people a co-worker, acquaintance, and husband. I will provide their definitions plus insights I gained from reflecting on their perspectives.

 The first person I spoke to is an acquaintance he is visiting my workplace as a military family life advocate consultant and the term we use is “M-Flac” their job is to council and listen to individuals of family members and children that may have difficulty with a parent being deployed or other life issues and concerns. Our “M-Flac” provides emotional and social support to these military families. J. Scott defined culture as a “collective psyche or essence of an area or a region, a neighborhood or a state” he shared with me a little bit of his background and his experience growing up in a school where he was under minded and profiled because of the place he grew up. Keeping in mind J. Scott was born in 1949 and the times of accepting different cultures were different from some views today, I learned his father earned a doctorate degree at a well-known Christian college and how his mother also graduated from college with a high grade point average. He explained frustrations of being placed in the lowest level of classes in grade school but proved to be one of the smartest students. His definition of diversity is an “interaction between two or more cultures and their representatives.  J. Scott shared with me within his high school years (growing up as a “white”) individual in southern Tennessee where a majority of his classmates pushed him away because he “talked different” and viewed “black” people as no different from him and the only people that welcomed him were “black people.” As J. Scott shared his experience with me I gained a little understanding of his identity and remain grateful for the present time of knowing some people living in the world stay open to differences in people.

            The second person I discussed diversity and culture with is a good friend and co-worker. T. Myles defined culture as “How each of us live and how we all come from different backgrounds.” She explained just because (she is African American) “me and you are different shades of black doesn’t mean we are both black and the same I know we grew up with different cultures and the way you were raised is different from the way I was raised” She defined diversity as “when you have two different races come together.” she continues to say that “diversity and culture definitions are almost alike”   Just yesterday our program celebrated “Diversity Day” and the children created a dance to this song. Each colored a flag from a different country, dressed up in the countries costumes and danced together to “Wavin Flag”

I don’t have video but their dance almost brought me to tears because like my friend said and we agreed “it’s nice to see children from different cultures come together as one”  Her definition encouraged me to understand that even though we may be different on the outside children still find time to dance, eat and play together.

Last but not least my husband. J. Cortez His definition of culture is when we look at “different races of people and how their daily lives are and how different cultures interact with each other” his example is that every culture is different “let’s say when it comes to food.” He mentions his favorite dinner dishes from the Filipino culture and compares it to say the American dinner. His definition of diversity includes how “people’s imagination is different and how they handle situations differently he explains people are independent and express themselves differently. From his definition I agree with his thoughts on how people express themselves and handle situations with different methods.

Some aspects of culture which I studied during this course are seeing past the “surface” of culture and often get to know people to completely understand and respect their views and perspectives. I think the one perspective within culture and diversity which has been set aside or talked about is looking at their culture and pulling out certain characteristics they want to celebrate more than other aspects.

I included a video from youtube of the song our children danced to. As I listen to the words I find diversity within children make sense. Enjoy!

A simulated Journey (Ms. Jay)

With any devastating event like a major flooding of the entire country happening in the area and resulted to traveling to a country different from my own and I could only take three things with me only related to my families culture I would take a family photo, a journal and the Holy Bible.  I feel that there are too many items within my home that represent my family's culture values and beliefs so I narrowed down the items to these three.

The first item on my list would be my family photo. In this particular picture even though it was taken years ago I remember it as the last family photo with my Mom Dad Sister and Brother. The picture is a snap shot of my culture and with it brings past memories. As I look at each person in the picture I can remember certain happy family events as well as traditions and struggles. I figure my memories are what I have to preserve my family culture; which brings me to the next item, a small to medium journal.  Even though I don’t know  where I’m going or what I’ll be doing hopefully I would have time to write down my thoughts and experiences in the journal. I want to almost guarantee with any culture reading and writing is an important skill to have. If in any occasion reading and writing is not allowed I probably wouldn’t survive or be in trouble all the time. The journal represents my family’s culture by writing down anything that pertains to my family (a history book) written full of my family tree, recipes I remember cooking writing down my own culture’s beliefs, values and traditions.

The last item on my list would be the holy bible. (New Living Translation) If anything I know there is one advice I remember my mom telling me with traveling or moving out of the house it was her saying something like “if any disaster happens to you or your house like a fire, and you can take only one thing with you make sure you grab your bible because faith and prayer in God will help you in times of need.” From her advice I understand that material possessions are a little easier to replace than my life. And from personal previous experiences I really only had faith and prayer to see me through rough times. This greatly relates to my beliefs and values in my way of life.

If upon arrival I could only take one item with me it would be my bible and to be honest (I would hide the wallet size family picture in the bible or within my change of clothes). I have faith that wherever I end up I would find a way to write down my experiences and create my own journal using different types of paper and a writing instrument. I know if I really couldn’t bring but one item it would be the Bible cause then all I would have are the memories. As a result of this exercise I feel a little more humbled and greatly appreciate the present things and events going on in my life.

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